Headlines

They must not have seen James Frey on Oprah. Laurie Friedman's "Angel Girl," based on Herman Rosenblat's tale of meeting his future wife at a concentration camp, had been released in the fall by the Lerner Publishing Group. Rosenblat, 79, whose many admirers had included Oprah Winfrey, acknowledged last weekend that he didn't meet his wife during the war. Get ready to get ripped a new one!

Awwww, I guess we are supposed to feel sorry for him! There's been a recent spate of articles about the outgoing President and how history will judge him. Let's see: caught flat-footed on 9/11, lied about WMDs, Abu Ghrab, Guantanamo, Hurricane Katrina and recession. I wouldn't look for any schools to be renamed in your honor anytime soon.

Just keep that shit over there! Israel is considering suspending its Gaza offensive to give Hamas militants an opening to halt their rocket fire, but the threat of a ground offensive remains if the truce does not hold, an Israeli defense official said Tuesday. Other than Oprah, the only other people that you don't fuck with in this world are the Israelis, although I still question why we should always have such unflinching support for them. That, however, is a topic for another post.

S.L.A.G.S. - In Memoriam

Stephanie Louise Agnes Green Swilling
Originally uploaded by blkarkitect

Stephanie Louise Agnes Green Swilling died December 30, 1999 after a too short life of missed opportunities.

Sometimes I think I dont want to ever have children because i dont want them to go through what I went through and continue to go through shevery time I realize my mother is dead. Its like a tiny yet vicious stab wound everytime I remember that she is, in fact, gone and not just visiting family in Alabama.

She was smart and funny, with a quick wit and sharp tongue. She was a ferocious advocate for me and my sister. I remember one day when she went into the drug store and left my sister and I in the car. Some white kids in the car next to us started harrassing us, spitting on the car and throwing things such that we could not keep the windows down, even though it was summer. Well, when my mother found out she left those kids' mother have it. She called the police and forced the mother and the children to write letters of apology. She taught us never to back down in the face of a fight.

Sadly, she did not have that same fight when it came to herself. As she got older, her marriage failed and her health got worse, her depression deepened, although we did not recognize it as such at the time. She died 4 months shy of her 50th birthday, way too young and way to soon for her son and daughter, who both needed her desperately, even though they did not know it at the time.

How Does it Feel? A Journey

Before we get started, i just want to recommend that whatever system they use to vote in Washington State, Oregon and California needs to be adopted nationally. The polls closed at 11pm est and they were able to project the results at 11:02pm. Anysnooch...

All around me, I see people who see the election of Barack Obama as a transformative event in their lives and the life of the country. People stood in lines all over the country for newspapers to commemorate the event. Others wept openly at news of his election. As for me, I am very happy to see this day come and I am hopeful for the future because of it, but I just don't share this joy that everyone else seems to have.

Perhaps its because I am somewhat cynical (I know, shocking!). I have always felt like an outsider, observing the world while not necessarily feeling part of it, so events like these don't always have the same effect on me. I tend to reserve a (rather) large piece of myself that observes with an unemotional detachment. Its why I was unmoved initially by the Obama candidacy and supported Hillary Clinton. At that time, it seemed to me that Obama's appeal was based in high-minded rhetoric and emotion. Once I was able to see his policy positions and how his rhetoric infused those positions, I became a supporter.

My cynical nature also comes out when I see people talking about how life changing this event is personally. Really? It is certainly a VERY VERY positive change in American life because it reaffirms the premises of this country. For children and teenagers, they can dream a dream that they may have thought was realistically impossible even the day before. For adults, it may open a world of possibilities as leaders in their local community or nationally. They will be inspired by the story of a man who rose from modest means, without the help of wealth, family name, or even a father, to become President of the United States. Even for me, I used to dream that I could one day be a US Senator, even the Majority Leader, a dream I dismissed as impossible once I accepted my gayness. A BLACK GAY senator? Yeah right! But now, I suddenly find myself dusting off that dream and examining it afresh.

Hmmm... maybe this election was a little more life changing than I thought.

Gotta go. Hopefully they still have the commemorative edition of the Washington Post for sale!

It is done!

This morning, I fulfilled my civic duty and voted. I got to the polling place around 8am, figuring there would be a line, but I still gagged when I saw how far down the block the line was. I put in my earphones and passed the time, mainly so that I would not be forced to make idle chitchat with strangers.

While we are on the subject, thank GAWD for the invention of the IPOD! It has saved me from many unwanted human interactions. So many times I am on the train, or the bus (GASP and SWOON!!) or a plane and someone next to me wants to talk. I guess I have a friendly face.

It never fails, though, that someone will still attempt to talk to me despite my best efforts. Sometimes it's innocent and they just are lost. More often than not, though, they just choose to ignore that I don't want to be bothered and decide to strike up a conversation anyway. That is the surest way to get the Gas Face, but I digress...

As a preamble to the rest of my story, it is important to describe the neighborhood I live in. My neighborhood can be broken down into three pieces. The area where I live, as you might expect, is the nicest. It is a collection of middle middle and lower upper middle income residences. To the south of my area is a narrow band of lower middle to middle income families that surrounds the projects. This part of the neighborhood is frequently the scene of police activity, and as such, makes my part of the nieghborhood fairly safe because the police are always just around the corner. (I'm still moving next year though! Middle upper middle here I come!!!!)

So anyhoo...

I had assumed that the pollilng place wouldn't be that busy because most of the people in the projects and the lower middle/middles wouldn't vote. I was pleasantly surprised to see that this election had brought out EVERYONE, even though it would force me to endure the press of the common folk. After about an hour, I finally get inside the polling place which is a Rec Center in the middle of the projects. Its a beautiful modern building with a lovely basketball court and a job placement center. I hated it immediately, but that is the subject of another rant.

I found my way to the sign-in, which wasn't easy given that the check-in wasn't well marked and the handwriting on the sign was that of a serial killer. I got in the "S threw W" line (SIGH!) which was much shorter than the "N thru R" or the "M" lines (Apparently, a lot of people in my neighborhood have last names beginning with the letter M). This girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder: "I ain't neva done dis before. Do we get in line by first name or last name?" She was young and innocent, if very very ghetto, so instead finding her mother and slappng the shyt out of her, I told her that we were all in line by last name. She smiled up at me and headed off. My heart melted a tiny bit; I had done my good deed for the day.

It dawned on me that despite the fact that my line was much shorter than other, it was not moving nearly as fast. I looked to the front and saw the reason why. Gentle readers, you will no doubt remember Ricky Smiley's character of "Li'l Darryl" from BET's Comic View (oh my God, I just threw up in my mouth a little). Well the sign-in lady was Li'l Darryl slightly less "special" sister. Finally, I got my card and then went to get my actual ballot. I opted for the electronic ballot, figuring it would be easier to complete than the paper ballot which required you to fill in the ovals with a number 2 pencil like it was pop quiz in civics class.

Then I had to wait while people who had never used a computer before and did not understand the concept of the touch screen fumbled their way through the process. One guy was at the screen for like 10 minutes. It happened to so many people that I began to wonder if there was a problem with the machine or if there were more local elections that I wasn't aware of. Ultimately, my cynicism proved spot on and those people were just stupid, because it took me all of 30 seconds to vote.

Yay!!!!

Fuel to the fire

(((((tactful silence)))))

The caption reads...

"Why the hell am I taking a picture with this fag?"

...and John Legend was thinking the same thing!

Four days to go

... and I cannot wait. I am so over this election at this point. If I hear "...and I approved this message" one more time, it's gonna get ugly up in here.

Did you watch the Obama info-mercial? Now, I am not a crier, I'd just as soon cut your throat as look at you, but i squeezed out a few tears at the end there during the live rally.

Come on Tuesday!

And in case there was an confusion, there is no such thing as "Black Day Off" the Wednesday after the election.

No Speekee Ingarish - A rant...

A couple of days agoI was watching NBC Nightly News and there was a segment on the children of immigrants. In the story, this 17-year-old young man, let's call him Flaco, was forced to grow up early because he functioned as the head of household because neither of his parents spoke English.

Now here is the fucked up part. Flaco's parents came to the United States from El Salvador IN THE 1980s. His father said they found English too difficult to learn so they gave up before the boy was born. Furthermore, they forbid any of their six kids from speaking English in the house. Now kids, what kind of fucked up bullshit is that?

We can deduce a couple of things about Flaco's family. First of all, his parents are most likely borderline retarded. How can you live country for almost 30 years and not even pick up a pidgin understanding of the language? We can also deduce that Flaco and his brothers and sisters will jet the moment they turn 18 and I can't blame him.

This used to be a country where people aspired to be better. People used to come to this country speaking no English and within a couple of months or a year, they were conversant. Now we have people who have lived here FOR DECADES and still speak almost no English. In some parts of the country, you would think you were in a foreign land because the street signs and other landmarks are in a foreign language. This is ridiculous.

This is America and the official language of this country is English. But no, you say, there is no law mandating English as the official language. Well, darlings, if the laws are written in English and ignorance of the law is not an excuse, then the language the laws are written in is the official language.I am typically a very tolerant person, but I have a problem with people who live in this country that don't speak English.

I am the prototypical Ugly American. I am the guy who will not speak to someone I can't understand. I will be dismissive of them and ask to speak to the manager, until I get someone who speaks English that I can understand and who understands me. When I call my credit card company and "Heather" or "David" answers the phone, I will refuse to speak with them and insist on being put through to a Level Three Manager (Levels One and Two are usually in India or wherever the job has been outsourced to) who is in the United States.

This is not because I am racist or a xenophobe or anti-foreigner. I just don't have time to deal with a customer service person or other people with whom I can't communicate. We have all been in the situation where you are trying to resolve a dispute with someone and you can tell by the look in their eye that they don't understand a word you are saying. Fuck 'em. I call the manager. Am I wrong? Or am I just not being politically correct?

I will give these people one thing, they have got balls. I could never move someplace where I did not speak or understand the language and get a job that requires me to interact with people. So as La Washington might say, "Well God bless 'em." Just don't come up to me on the street and as me for shyt because I am gonna tell you to go find someone who knows what the hell you are talking about!

Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom, A review

A well written script, good acting and a sexy, adorable cast dressed DOWN all come together to make a movie that is much better than I thought it would be coming into it. That's not to say I didn't think I would like it, just not this much. Let's be real, Noah's Arc, the series has some acting issues (a couple of characters seemed like they were just reading off the page sometimes), production values (several characters wearing the same outfit), and logic problems (going from zero to fully-rehearsed drag in 5 minutes). The movie has almost none of these problems and while this ground has been well-trodden by many movies, it is still a very satisfying journey of laughter and tears, even though you see most of it coming.

Noah and friends old and new gather to celebrate the wedding of Wade and Noah at Wade's family's vacation home on Martha's Vineyard. Everyone has come for the big event except Trey, who is home looking after has and Alex's newly adopted son OJ. Typically, Ricky has brought along a VERY young piece, Brandon (played by Gary Gray) who just happens to be one of Chance's students. Gray is perfectly cast as the voice of reason and is integral to advancing the plot. Through his character's questioning, we find out that Noah's friends think the marriage is doomed, because they are both on the rebound. We are told that Noah nursed Wade back to health after the car accident that ended season two.

As the wedding weekend unfolds, we see the ups and downs of all relationships mirrored in the coupled gather to celebrate the joyous day. Along the way, a few familiar faces drop by for comic relief.

Overall, the movie is a more-than-satisfying follow-up to the series, which leaves viewers wanting more of this reflection, for better or for worse, of at least parts of black gay life.

Colin Powell

Today, another nail was placed in the coffin of the McCain candidacy by none other than Republican General Colin Powell.

His endorcement of Barack Obama is a well-reasoned summation of why, at this moment in history, Senator Obama is better suited to face the nation's challenges.

Two points stand out to me. The first is General Powell's questioning of the whole strategy surrounding the William Ayers situation and asking if Mr. Ayers is just a washed-up terrorist, why do we keep talking about him. Secondly, and more powerfully, General Powell questioned what would be the problem is Barack Obama was indeed a Muslim. He rightly called out such implicit and explicit attacks on the Senator as "not American."

Bravo General. Guess who's getting nominated as the next Secretary of State? or would you prefer Defense? The choice is yours.

Poor Joe...

Poor, dumb, stupid attention-seeking Joe.

Well, it seems that Mr. the Plumber is being torn down by the minute. I must admit, in spite of my previous post, I still was feeling a little sorry for him. I mean, he had no idea John McCain was going to call him out like that. Next thing you know, every major news organization is camped out on his front lawn.

I even continued to feel sorry for him after his first comments, because what would you do if you opened your door and the people and the lights and the questions? You would answer them. Then I started listening to his answers.

First of all, in his orginal question to Senator Obama, he was obviously trying to embarass the Senator or trip him up somehow. He asked the Senator if he believed in the American Dream. What kind of fucked up bullshit gotcha question is that? Who the fuck runs for President of the United States who doesn't believe in the American Dream?

Then, as he does more and more interviews, this guys starts coming off as more and more of an asshole. In one interview he said it didn't matter whether or not there were ever any weapons of mass destruction, because "We took the fight to them." Who exactly is them, Mr. the Plumber? The more than 100,000 Iraqis who have died in this conflict?

Further analysis by people much more educated on these topics than I prove the points I made yesterday about Mr. the Plumber's arguments. Even if he bought the business as he indicated, it would have to generate income well into the 7 figures for Joe to have taxable income of more than $250k. And what does that mean class?

HE WOULD PAY NO ADDITIONAL TAXES.

The company McCain said the plumber wants to buy has annual sales of $510,000, according to an analysis by Dun & Bradstreet. That makes it unlikely that Wurzelbacher's purchase would give him a taxable income of more than $200,000 -- leaving him unaffected by Obama's proposal to roll back tax breaks for those earning more than $250,000, said Steven Bankler, a certified public accountant in San Antonio, who counts plumbers and other trade professionals as his clients. --Bloomberg.com

Assuming our buddy Joe the dumbass did somehow fuck his way to the top of the plumbing trade (it obviously wasn't good business acumen), and earn $280k as taxable income, under the Obama plan, he would only have an increased tax burden of $773.

Here is the kicker. Joe should spend more time worrying about the back taxes he owes than the theoretical taxes he might have to pay if he somehow acquired this business. Joe owes almost $1200 in back taxes and the filing of an additional lien is imminent. I guess Joe's American Dream involves cheating the system and ducking out on medical bills.

Joe the Plumber took a bad situation and made it worse by opening his yap. He could have refused to comment further, but he didn't. On top of that, he espoused positions that some might consider unpopular. And to add insult to injury, he was critical of others when he didn't have his own house in order. Therefore, Joe ultimately has no one to blame for this invasion of his privacy but himself.

In the interest of full disclosure, Mother owes back taxes to both the IRS and the State of Maryland. The difference between Mother and Mr. the Plumber is that Mother has made arrangements to settle those debts, and Mother is not commenting on an issue about which Mother is uneducated on national television, nor is Mother casting stones from inside a glass house.

Thank you, say no more!

*Dead* Inside

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Fuck Joe the Plumber, and not in a good way!

Now that the debates are over, Barack Obama needs to stop worrying about these idiots like Mr. the Plumber, who will still not believe the candidate even when the words come out of his own mouth. Just concentrate on keeping the party faithful energized and getting them to the poles. Hell, between the Democrats and Republicans, we have been two years getting to this election. Undecided? How the hell can you not have made up your mind in all this time?

But I digress...

First of all, Mr. the Plumber isn't even a licensed plumber, so at best he's Joe the employee of the guy who owns the plumbing business. However, since his boss is not licensed, he is just Joe, that dude who does plumbing. Whatever, its just the two of them and the business makes over $250k a year. Which means that neither of them individually makes more than $250k unless Mr. the Plumber is the worst businessman ever (or best employee, depending on your viewpoint).

Senator Obama plainly said yesterday that individuals making less than $250k wouldn't see any increase in taxes and that those making less than $200k would get a tax cut. That means that neither Mr. the Plumber nor his employer have anything to worry about. Senator Obama also indicated that for those making more than $250k who were small business owners, they would be exempt from any tax increase as a generator of jobs. There again, Mr. the Plumber and his boss have nothing to worry about. According to the Small Business Administration's website, until their plumbing business generated more than $13 million annually and had more than 100 employees, it would still classed as a small business.

Yet and still, despite hearing these words from the mouth of the candidate himself, Joe the Plumber, world-renowned political and economics expert and philanthropist, still has trouble with Senator Obama's plan:

"If you believed (Obama), I'd be receiving his tax cuts," Wurzelbacher said.
"But I don't look at it that way. He'd still be hurting others."

Thank you for your concern Joe. Thinking like that is why you will never own that plumbing business unless your boss just gives it to you and even if that happens, you will never be more than you are now.

"I just hope I'm not making too much of a fool of myself," he added.

Too late for that, you putz!

Get Over it

Excuse me, everybody...
Excuse me, everybody...

... You would think Angelina Jolie was photographed getting her snatch waxed, the way people are in an uproar. I mean seriously, she is breastfeeding! Get over it!

Someone stole my sunglasses!

Back in the 60s a man named William Ayers was a terrorist, now he is a community activist and professor in Chicago. He also once held a fundraiser for Barack Obama. What of it? It was 13 years ago. Get over it!

Someone borrowed my sunglassses!

In the late 80s John McCain got caught up in the Savings and Loan scandal over his ties to Charles Keating. He was ultimately exonerated, so get over it!

I want my glasses back!
I want my sunglasses back!

Sarah Palin flunked out of several colleges before getting her degree. Her husband believes that Alaska should secede from the United States. She just got a passport last year. She's not what you would call literate. She (where was I going with this? Oh yeah...) Get over it! Fuck that, that bitch is unqualified to be vice-president of the PTA, let alone the United States.

Excuse me everybody...
I found my sunglasses!

Extra points if you can tell me where those lines are from. :-)

Dear O.J. Simpson

In the words of Fred Sanford, "You big dummy!"

You couldn't just lay low and live out the rest of your life, could you? Assuming you didn't kill those two people (You can tell me. You killed them didn't you. I won't tell anyone), you couldn't just lay low and mind your own business. No, you had to go out and do stupid stuff.

...Like write a book called "If I Did It." Ummm, brotha you were acquitted of the vicious murder of your ex-wife and her "friend." (Yeah they were probably fuckin, but what of it?) Why would an innocent man then write a book talking about how you would have killed the mother of your children?

...Like try to hide your financial assets from the Goldmans so you wouldn't have to pay that civil judgement. Too bad the people you dealt with were as shady as you, and with no Johnny Cochran around to pull a Jedi Mind Trick defend you, your ass got caught up.

I know what happened. You saw what happened to R. Kelly and thought you could get away with that shyt. Hell, they had a tape of that brotha peeing on the girl, everyone saw it and they STILL could not get a conviction. All they had on you was a glove that did not fit. However, you forget one critical detail. The girl R. Kelly peed on is dumb as a box of rocks, probably from a bad home, still trying to wash the smell of urine off her soul, crying herself to sleep on the pile of money she was paid to keep her yap shut BLACK. If she was white, R. Kelly would be UNDER the jail.

So now its over. I feel sorry for you, like I do for anyone who will no longer get to see the light of day or enjoy freedom. Ultimately though, you brought this on your damn self. Keep your booty shut.

Love always,
Brian

The Women: The Remake: The Review

OK, So I have been putting it off for several weeks since it came out, but I felt obliged to see this movie on your behalf, gentle reader. As you know, I was not predisposed to liking this movie, what with my visceral hatred of Meg Ryan and all. It should therefore come as no surprise that I ultimately did not care for this movie. I did not hate it, but neither did I love it.

First, let's stop the madness. This movie is not so much BASED ON the 1939 movie of the same name as a pitiful ripoff of INSPIRED BY the original. At best, it's a re-imagination. The names are the same and it's still New York high society, but the plot is different enough from the original movie as to be annoying without being at all unique or anything more than derivative. It was like watching a bad pilot of what might one day be a good show.

This movie is neither an homage to the original, where every detail of scene and dialogue is slavishly re-created, nor is it a modern re-telling of a classic. One of the problems I always had with the original was the almost casual way acceptance of the husband's infidelity as a woman's lot in life. I always fantasized about how similar situations would be handled in 2008.

Meg Ryan, visceral hatred aside, was OK. She was playing the same character she always does: befuddled, likeable woman stumbling her way through life. I thought her reactions were entirely inappropriate for given situations. For instance, when Mary Haines confronts Crystal Allen in the dressing room, she is neither aristocratically above the situation, looking down on Crystal from her high society perch, nor is she gutter-bucket ready to scratch her eyes out. Instead, she is milquetoast at best, practically begging Crystal to just be decent and stop seeing her husband.

That's another problem with this re-imagination. These Women aren't classy, high society dames. They are all good people, but in the original, these were wealthy, upper-eschelon people, above the sort of common trials and tribulations of mere mortals.

Standouts in the movie include Debra Messing as the eternally pregnant Edith, although it just seemed like she was playing an Upper West Side Grace Adler. Jada Pinkett-Smith does alot with little material as the LESBIAN!!! author Alex, and any movie that gives screen time to Candice Bergen and Cloris Leachman can't be all bad.

Don't fuck with David Letterman

Nuff Said!!!

I am shocked and surprised!

Someone needs their ass whipped UPDATE

This isn't the first time this kid has taken his Grandmother's car for a joyride. You would think they would learn to keep the keys away from him.

Le sigh...

Someone needs their ass whipped

Now, after listening to this story, young Latarian might be a little special. If that's the case, bless his heart and get him into treatment. If not, Grandma needs to be beating that ass as we speak.

Speaking of ass beatings, the Grandmother's mother needs a beatdown for naming her child Vikkita. This is why we cannot rise as a people.

Effie White is marrying a Punk

This will not end well. Academy Award winning actress Jennifer Hudson is engaged to marry her boyfriend of less than a year. I have two words for Ms. Hudson... Prenuptial Agreement.

If this man looks familiar, it's because he is David Otunga, better known to America as Punk, one of the contestants on I Love New York. Now before you all start talking about how he is Harvard-educated and all that, ask yourself this: How well was that education working for him that he starred on a show that was the antithesis of all that Harvard stands for (that would be intelligence, common sense, and couth, among other things)?

Plus, let's keep it real. He has gayface. He looks like Al Reynolds more attractive cousin (and we KNOW how well his marriage worked out). I will also add that he is kind of an F-list celebrity media whore. What better way to work you way up to C+/B- territory than to marry an Oscar-winning actress singer who's star is on the rise.

Sounds like a beard to me.

Star Jones, get your ass in here and talk to JHud, please!

The Renewed Mind

Oh

My

God...

I could not stop laughing. This is the funniest Saturday Night Live skit ever. Sadly, its a real musical number at a real church.

Bristol Palin

Today, I received an email in one of my yahoo groups with the screaming headline, "The Father of Bristol Palin's baby is an African-American!!" Check out the alleged confession.

I don't give a shit and neither should you. I am more shocked that there are black people in Alaska, The brotha claims that he is being kept out of the picture in favor of Bristol's fiance because he is black. This may be true, but if he is the father, you wont be able to hide that fact for long.

One wonders though, if he truly does know Bristol as intimately as he claims, wouldn't he know how to pronounce the family name?

Jet Magazine and the Gays, circa 1950

Since I like to get my news when it happens and not three weeks later, I don't read Jet Magazine. However, it seems that our favorite pseudo news magazine regularly reported on gays and lesbians during ths 1950's.

The following excerpt was written in August 1952. Unfortunately, it could have been written yesterday:

"Whether they walk with simpering hinged-hipped gait or hide their effeminate characteristics with baggy tweeds and smelly pipes, there are in the US today, 8 million males who prefer intimates with other males. Collectively, they present America with the biggest pychosexual problem of modern times because: 1. They cause dislocations in family life: 2. breed maladjusted inmates in jails. 3. like persons afflicted with a dread disease, bloat their number each year with by the planned seduction of innocents."

To read more, click over to Cory's blog.

Walking on my Lips...

Fresh from Bryant Park...

How can you look at this and not say its a hot mess? Now Mother is not exactly a fashionista, but really!

Yes, I know he is an artiste, and yes, I know he is a winner of Project Runway, but come on, does he really expect people to take him seriously when he looks like something that you just vomited up? Now as a person of substance myself, I am all for Big Gurls Runway, but the outfit is completelt unflattering. If I hired someone to design me a couture gown suit and he came in looking like this, I would show him the door.

Speaking of hot messes and Project Runway, Senorita Gap Tooth is back, complete with gingham shirt, SUSPENDERS, and that gawd-awful conducters hat. At least we can thank goodness that it's not mesh. I'd still fuck him though.

Thanks to Project Rungay for the pics.

As I Remember It...

With the summer of 2001 was winding down, what I remember most was that there had been a record number of shark attacks that summer. Funny how no one even talks about that anymore...

I had only been in the office for about 20 minutes. It was my second day on the job at CETROM, a small-ish architecture firm far out in the 'burbs of Gaithersburg, Maryland. I was far from my comfortable apartment in downtown DC, less than 15 blocks from the US Capitol, but after having been laid off a month prior, I considered myself blessed to me employed. Over the cubicle wall, I hear the woman (her name was Jobi) remark to someone else in the office, "Hey, on the radio they said a plane just hit the World Trade Center." She turned the radio up a little.

I logged on to Yahoo, and confirmed it. The coverage made it sound like a crop duster or something had gotten off course and hit the building. I tried to click on a link to get more information and could not connect. I tried CNN. Nothing. MSNBC. Nothing. Washington Post. USA Today. I could not connect to any website at all. Jobi yelled out, "A second plane just hit the other tower at the World Trade Center, and they were jets." It got VERY quiet in the office as everyone gathered at her desk to listen to the radio.

One crop duster with a malfunction crashing into the World Trade Center was an accident. Two JETS deliberately flying into two buildings moments apart was the game. My first thoughts were for Keith. Keith was the tragically beautiful man I had just spent a blissful Pride weekend with in ATL. I called his house in LA where it was only a little after 6am and got his voicemail. "Don't go to work today baby. Something crazy is going on and I don't want anything to happen to you. I will call you later." Ultimately, he proved unworthy of such devotion, but that's another story. We had all drifted slowly back to our seats, but the office was completely silent, save for the occasional cellphone ring, followed by a whispered reassurance that someone was OK.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have confirmed reports that one of the towers of the World Trade Center has collapsed." Jobi started crying hysterically. Someone came in to comfort her. Sadly, in the 3+ years I worked there, it was not the only time this would happen. Yep, she was one of those types.

My next thoughts were for my Bristas in New Jersey who worked at the World Trade Center. I tried Robert's cell. No answer. Reggie. No answer. I tried to place a third call and all circuits were busy. I tried to call my father and sister. All circuits were busy. I tried the office phone and still, all circuits. I started to freak out a little.

With no internet, very little phone and only the radio to go by, rumors ran rampant. The White House had been hit, the Pentagon was on fire, the Capitol had been hit. Eventually we all found out exactly what had happened, but in those first hours, it was total chaos.

Later, once I for home, I was faced (as we all were) with wall-to-wall coverage of the events. I was shocked at how quickly the government was able to put it all together. I kept thinking to myself, if they had only put these pieces together even 12 hours earlier, none of those guys would ever have gotten on those planes.

I pray we never have a repeat of that day, but sadly...

I'm back!!!

Hey y'all, Mother is back. The vacation was wonderful. I got a sunburn on my scalp and now it's peeling. Not a very good look.

By the way...

Did you know that John McCain was in the military?

We'll get to Sarah Palin tomorrow, but why does she look like Karen Walker? I half expected Rosario to come out . Listen, lady!

P.S., Whatever the hell John McCain's mother is drinking, they need to bottle that shyt. She looks better at 96 than alot of people do at 60.

On Vacation

Off to Turks and Caicos and the Bahamas.

Back in a week.

Does the G stand for Gay?

One of my good Bristas, Derrick (check out his blog), was telling me about this show on MTV called "Gs to Gents." He thinks its the gayest show on TV. Of course that piqued my interest so I decided to check it out.

I did keekee a little when one of the guys was getting his wig split getting his hair braided and he raised his arm and the pits were shaved. I don't mean the hair was short. No, Miss Thing's pits were perfectly smooth. Not only that, but Shotta's (yes, that's what they call her. Real name: Durrell) eyebrows were snatched FA LYFE!

It may or may not be the gayest show, I'll let Derrick plead that case. Overall, this show made my brain hurt, so unless they start getting naked, I plan to tune out.

What's done in the dark...

always, ALWAYS comes to light!!! Didn't your mother always tell you that, and wasn't she always right?

Why can't these politicians get this through their thick skulls? Did John Edwards really think that no one would ever find out about his affair? Just imagine where we would be if history had unfolded differently and he were the presumptive nominee on Friday when he made his announcement? We would be up shit's creek that's where, with a nominee who's moral credibility is shattered and whose wife is dying of terminal cancer.

John McCain would have been able to spend the next several months painting himself as the candidate of family values, trotting out his evil undead wife to smile and wave condescendingly to adoring throngs of self-riteous "values" voters who are just glad that they dont have to make excuses for why they aren't voting for the half-nigger, the woman or the adulterer.

To think I almost voted for this asshole. Yes, I say asshole because he potentially put my (and your) future in jeopardy because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and then didn't have the balls to own up to it until it was too late. The stakes are very high here and we can't afford shit like this.

Mr. Edwards, I am very disappointed in you and I will never believe another word that comes out of your mouth. Now go somewhere and sit down, you stupid son of a bitch!

Hate the games, not the players

As you know, mother is not easily moved by shiny lights and spectacle, but I got a good nerd boner watching the Olympics opening ceremony. Those Chinese sure know how to put on a show. I like to think I am fairly hip to most modern technology but there were a couple of times where I was like, "How the hell are they doing that?"

Predictably, some are hating:

Robert Bianco (USA Today): "... astounding mix of cutting-edge technology and ancient traditions ... [but] a bit grandiose at times, particularly in those moments when the attempts to stoke national pride became stifling."

The Live Feed: "Those oversized cut-out photos of kids were a wee bit creepy. Like a sea of milk carton runways."

The Telegraph (UK newspaper): "Now we are in the midst of a celebration of moveable type printing. Try to stay awake at the back there."

If this were being held in the United States or Great Britain, who doesn't think it would be filled with great soaring moments of national pride? And given the history of the US and Britain in world politics, you just know there would be those paternalistic attempts to be all inclusive and what not.

The Chinese have every right to take this moment on the world stage and shine. They can be forgiven some moments of nationalistic pride, considering that they are the host and that their country contains a sixth of the planet's population. The fact that the commentators had to keep explaining the symbolism underscored the fact that people know very little about China.

Ten years from now, we will all look back on this moment as China's coming out party. I say, welcome to the dance. Tens across the board!

Mother of the year

Our next contestant is...

This is what you call balls. Your oldest child is crazy as cat shit, been hospitalized with mental issues and voluntarily gave up custody of her young sons. Your other daughter is an unwed teenage mother. Yes, Lynn, you are fully qualified to write a book on parenting. And who the hell is Bryan Spears?

Random Musings...

...If I am really keeping it real, the only interest I have in the summer Olympics is Track and Field, and its not to see who has the fastest times around the track.

...David Archuleta, American Idol runner-up and the stuff molester-y dreams are made of, told OK Magazine that he is looking for his someone special. "She has to be fun, have respect for herself and be adventurous," he told the magazine at the Teen Choice Awards, adding, "and she has to have a penis!"

...Oh Jerrell, why do I hate you so? Is it your frail bird-like chest you insist on showing whenever possible? Is it your your atrocious personal fashion, or is it your atrocious designs? Get into the frock he thought our female Olympians should wear to the opening cermonies.

This is why we will never rise as a people!

Today on the subway, I saw a woman wearing a rhinestone studded watch with picture of Barack Obama on its face. VERY classy.

Remembered Pleasure I

The other day, I was at work, chatting with a friend and we were discussing great sex. The conversation of course caused me to reflect back on the best sex I ever had and to shudder with remembered pleasure...

In September 2000, I was on vacation in Los Angeles. I was supposed to meet this guy I had been chatting with for a couple of months. From our conversation, it was clear that we were going to do it, but I was not prepared for the intensity.

He arrived 4 hours late and although I was pissed, we still went out. He took me to the Santa Monica pier and we walked all around. The stars were out and I think it was a full moon. We were walking along the water's edge and suddenly the moment became very romantic. We kissed under the stars, right there on the beach in Santa Monica, in front of God and everyone.

I was staying at a shitty little EconoLodge back in downtown LA and we headed back there as fast as we could. Back in my room, we explored each others bodies and he shivered every time i touched him. When I first started playing with his ass, he shreiked and put a pillow in his mouth to keep from screaming to loud. He was a great kisser and loved straddling me so he could kiss my lips and neck while I fingered him. That only made me want him even more. He produced alot of lubrication (the kids call is santorum now, after the anti-gay senator), so much so that the bed was literally soaked. I didnt have to use any lube when I fucked him.

Entering him for the first time was like putting on a pair of tight gloves. He started crying and I thought I had hurt him, but he told me he sometimes cried when it felt really good. We fucked all over that room, in every position. When the sensation got too much for him he would collapse under me, a problem I solved by making him kneel in a chair so he couldn't get away. I fucked him for so long in that chair that my leg got numb. His screams got so loud at one point that the manager knocked on the door because of complaints. We even knocked the headboard off the wall.

We spent the whole week together, fucking in the hotel room, at his aunt's house, foolling around in my rental car and at the Griffith Observatory. It was more than just sex though, we had a really good time in each other's company. He was smart and funny and literate and if we lived on the same coast, we both knew that we would be together. We were logical though, and knew that we had to enjoy it while it lasted.

And so it was, that in the summer of my 29th year, that I experienced my first, and so far only, summer love affair.

Hollywood Royalty

Mommie Dearest is one of my favorite movies. Check out this tribute...

I would rather walk on my lips

than criticize, but Madonna looks terrible...

Is this what the kids call "Crypt Keeper Chic"?

Get into Lourdes' unibrow.

Very Classy, the two of them

More on Wacko (Jesse) Jacko

When Jesse Jackson uttered his now-infamous words a couple of weeks ago, it seemed to come out of left field. I mean, what would motivate him to do say a thing?

Today we have an answer: guilt (I know you thought i was going to say stupidity, but that goes without saying)

As you may recall, gentle reader, the REVEREND Jackson acknowledged fathering a child out of wedlock back in 2001. Well, apparently, Senator Obama's words to a black church on Father's Day struck too close to home: "We need fathers to recognize that responsibility doesn't just end at conception."

At the time of his acknowledgement, he declared that he has provided "emotional and financial support" since her birth. "As her mother does, I love this child very much". The child's mother paints a different picture. Karin Stanford says her daughter has little or no contact with the Jackson family and even throws a little shade, saying that even if there was contact, it would have to be chaperoned because the family is so dysfunctional.

So there we have it. I am sure Sen. Obama wasn't even thinking of Jesse when he gave that speech, but it appears to have had some effect on at least one father.

Thanks to the Enquirer for the article.

The Ever-Shrinking Closet

I just finished reading Newsweek's cover story on the life and death of Lawrence King, the California teenage who was murdered, ostensibly for being gay.

I have always had an active imagination. When I was a child I used to pretend I was a superhero, or more accurately, a superheroine. She was tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes, which was odd, considering her alter ego was a chubby black child from PG County, Maryland.

If you accept the premise that your fantasy world is your truest expression of how you wish the real world were, did that mean that I wanted to be a woman? That I was gay? If that young child were living today, would he have come out like Lawrence King did at the age of 10?

The question is, does anyone know enough about themselves to make that leap at so young an age, or are they marking themselves and setting themselves up for a life of torment? I am not excusing any type of bullying, but let's be real. When you are in school, you will get teased if you exhibit any degree of difference, and its not like it necessarily gets better when you are an adult. A grown-ass woman had to shoot a man a couple of weeks ago because he kept taunting her about being a lesbian. (a violent lesbian? I know, SHOCKING!)

Larry King did way more than just come out. He started dressing like a girl, and even went so far as to start taunting the other boys in school, accusing them of liking him. He even went so far as to make sexual comments to the other boys in the locker room. Yet, for all the bravado and professed "Out and Proud"-ness, he, by his own admission, had never kissed a boy. So was he really even gay?

The devil's advocate would say that you don't have to have ever kissed the odjects of your desire to declare your sexual orientation. There are plenty of straight men and women (well, some) who are virgins into their early 20s, but the fact that they were straight was never in question, and it shouldn't be. To be blunt, being straight is THE NORM. You don't have to prove it, it is assumed. There is no litmus test for it.

There is, however, such a test for being gay. To quote the philosopher Andrew "Dice" Clay, "You either suck dick, or you do not suck dick!" Yes it's not as simple as that, but you get my point. You can't (or better yet, shouldn't) call yourself gay until you have done some gay things. Maybe young Larry was a budding transvestite. He might have been grown up to be straight(ish) but just got a sexual thrill out of putting on women's clothing and accoutrements. Maybe he wasn't mature enough and didn't have enough life experience to fully understand what he was feeling.

And what about the adults in his life?

His adoptive father (Larry came from a bad family situation? Yes I know, SHOCKING!) never believed his son was gay. Well, he may not have been totally gay, but something was happening that required more than a knee-jerk reaction.

The teachers and administration at his school were split, with some believing Larry was violating the dress code by dressing as a girl, and even possibly bullying the other kids with his constant sexual taunts. Others believed in his right to free expression. One even gave him a dress when he came out to her. (Inappropriate much?) Then there was the out lesbian administrator who seemed to be Larry's main source of support and his advocate. Reports are that she encouraged Larry's behavior (a militant dyke? I know, SHOCKING! just kidding, I love the lesbians!).

Larry's life and death is a prime example of why I wish more men would come out, to give better role models to these young kids. They need to know that every gay man is not effeminate and/or has any desire to dress as women. Now don't get me wrong, I really and truly have no problem with men who are fem or trannies, but again, let's keep it real. When you express yourself a certain way, you are setting yourself up for drama. That's fine for a grown man, but for a kid, it can be a matter of life and death. In Lawrence King's case, it was death.

They Can't Take Her!!!

Get into this clip of Omarosa letting Wendy Williams have it.

I love it!

R.I.P. Sophia

I could never figure out why I was so in love with a show about 4 old white women living in Miami. All I knew was that they were hilarious and that I hoped to have friends like that in my life.

One of those friends has passed on. Estelle Getty, known to the world as Sophia Petrillo, checked out of Shady Pines for good. I will always remember the episode when she wept over the death of her cross-dressing son, whom she never really knew.

The show was ground-breaking. It showed that one could be over 50, even over 60, and still be funny and vivacious, sexual and even happily slutty. Today, with baby boomers re-defining what it means to be over 60, that notion is not shocking, but in the mid-80s, it was revolutionary.

Thank you for being a friend...

Allen Iverson is a BAMA!

There is a scene in the movie Soapdish where Sally Field's character Celeste, desparate for the love and affection of her fans, goes to the mall in a disguise. She brings along her confidante Rose (Whoopi Goldberg), who pretends to be a fan and "exposes" Celeste. A scene ensues and Celeste spends the next two hours basking in the love of her fans

A similar and equally ridiculous scene unfolded yesterday on U Street in front of Ben's Chili Bowl yesterday. More after the pics.

Yes, that is NBA superstar Allen Iverson standing outside of the restaurant waiting for his food. Now he could have waited inside the restaurant for his food, but he chose to post up in front of the spot and bask in the love of his fans. Based on this scene, I have deduced the following:

First, I will never eat at Allen Iverson's house. If he thinks the food at Ben's Chili Bowl is good, then obviously the food at his house must taste like crap. For a place with Chili in the name, the chili at Ben's taste like ass (and not in a good way). I defy you to eat there and not feel your arteries hardening with each bite.

Second, he could be Trade. His group of hangers-on all looked vaguely gayish, plus one of them was walking around with his ass literally hanging out. The buttcheeks were fully exposed and when he turned around you could see bush. (Baby, I tried to get pics, but Mother was so flustered by the sudden and unexpected display of male pulchritude!) Now I ask you, gentle reader, why would a "totally straight" man be showing his ass and dick on a public street to another "totally straight" man on a public street? The mind wobbles!

Third, and this is most important, he was having his Bentley detailed on a public street. This is, by definition, an act of BAMA-ry in the first degree. Being a BAMA always involves some stupidity and this scene is a textbook example. Why would one spend $100,000 (plus I'm guessing another $100,000 on a stereo system) on a luxury automobile and then allow a homeless person on the corner to wash your car with leftover pages from the Washington Post?

This is why we can't rise as a people!