I Know You Not Touchin' My Mannequin!

I still LOL

Who Gon' Check Me Boo

I take back everything bad I ever said about Sheree for two reasons:

1. I love a fightin' bitch

2. I am not trying to have Pookie from Cleveland knocking on my door

This is bama-ry in the first degree!

Speaking of Bukkake

Zachary Quinto loves it all over his face!

Does anyone else find this hot?

Poor Joe...

Poor, dumb, stupid attention-seeking Joe.

Well, it seems that Mr. the Plumber is being torn down by the minute. I must admit, in spite of my previous post, I still was feeling a little sorry for him. I mean, he had no idea John McCain was going to call him out like that. Next thing you know, every major news organization is camped out on his front lawn.

I even continued to feel sorry for him after his first comments, because what would you do if you opened your door and the people and the lights and the questions? You would answer them. Then I started listening to his answers.

First of all, in his orginal question to Senator Obama, he was obviously trying to embarass the Senator or trip him up somehow. He asked the Senator if he believed in the American Dream. What kind of fucked up bullshit gotcha question is that? Who the fuck runs for President of the United States who doesn't believe in the American Dream?

Then, as he does more and more interviews, this guys starts coming off as more and more of an asshole. In one interview he said it didn't matter whether or not there were ever any weapons of mass destruction, because "We took the fight to them." Who exactly is them, Mr. the Plumber? The more than 100,000 Iraqis who have died in this conflict?

Further analysis by people much more educated on these topics than I prove the points I made yesterday about Mr. the Plumber's arguments. Even if he bought the business as he indicated, it would have to generate income well into the 7 figures for Joe to have taxable income of more than $250k. And what does that mean class?

HE WOULD PAY NO ADDITIONAL TAXES.

The company McCain said the plumber wants to buy has annual sales of $510,000, according to an analysis by Dun & Bradstreet. That makes it unlikely that Wurzelbacher's purchase would give him a taxable income of more than $200,000 -- leaving him unaffected by Obama's proposal to roll back tax breaks for those earning more than $250,000, said Steven Bankler, a certified public accountant in San Antonio, who counts plumbers and other trade professionals as his clients. --Bloomberg.com

Assuming our buddy Joe the dumbass did somehow fuck his way to the top of the plumbing trade (it obviously wasn't good business acumen), and earn $280k as taxable income, under the Obama plan, he would only have an increased tax burden of $773.

Here is the kicker. Joe should spend more time worrying about the back taxes he owes than the theoretical taxes he might have to pay if he somehow acquired this business. Joe owes almost $1200 in back taxes and the filing of an additional lien is imminent. I guess Joe's American Dream involves cheating the system and ducking out on medical bills.

Joe the Plumber took a bad situation and made it worse by opening his yap. He could have refused to comment further, but he didn't. On top of that, he espoused positions that some might consider unpopular. And to add insult to injury, he was critical of others when he didn't have his own house in order. Therefore, Joe ultimately has no one to blame for this invasion of his privacy but himself.

In the interest of full disclosure, Mother owes back taxes to both the IRS and the State of Maryland. The difference between Mother and Mr. the Plumber is that Mother has made arrangements to settle those debts, and Mother is not commenting on an issue about which Mother is uneducated on national television, nor is Mother casting stones from inside a glass house.

Thank you, say no more!

Does the G stand for Gay?

One of my good Bristas, Derrick (check out his blog), was telling me about this show on MTV called "Gs to Gents." He thinks its the gayest show on TV. Of course that piqued my interest so I decided to check it out.

I did keekee a little when one of the guys was getting his wig split getting his hair braided and he raised his arm and the pits were shaved. I don't mean the hair was short. No, Miss Thing's pits were perfectly smooth. Not only that, but Shotta's (yes, that's what they call her. Real name: Durrell) eyebrows were snatched FA LYFE!

It may or may not be the gayest show, I'll let Derrick plead that case. Overall, this show made my brain hurt, so unless they start getting naked, I plan to tune out.

Hate the games, not the players

As you know, mother is not easily moved by shiny lights and spectacle, but I got a good nerd boner watching the Olympics opening ceremony. Those Chinese sure know how to put on a show. I like to think I am fairly hip to most modern technology but there were a couple of times where I was like, "How the hell are they doing that?"

Predictably, some are hating:

Robert Bianco (USA Today): "... astounding mix of cutting-edge technology and ancient traditions ... [but] a bit grandiose at times, particularly in those moments when the attempts to stoke national pride became stifling."

The Live Feed: "Those oversized cut-out photos of kids were a wee bit creepy. Like a sea of milk carton runways."

The Telegraph (UK newspaper): "Now we are in the midst of a celebration of moveable type printing. Try to stay awake at the back there."

If this were being held in the United States or Great Britain, who doesn't think it would be filled with great soaring moments of national pride? And given the history of the US and Britain in world politics, you just know there would be those paternalistic attempts to be all inclusive and what not.

The Chinese have every right to take this moment on the world stage and shine. They can be forgiven some moments of nationalistic pride, considering that they are the host and that their country contains a sixth of the planet's population. The fact that the commentators had to keep explaining the symbolism underscored the fact that people know very little about China.

Ten years from now, we will all look back on this moment as China's coming out party. I say, welcome to the dance. Tens across the board!

Random Musings...

...If I am really keeping it real, the only interest I have in the summer Olympics is Track and Field, and its not to see who has the fastest times around the track.

...David Archuleta, American Idol runner-up and the stuff molester-y dreams are made of, told OK Magazine that he is looking for his someone special. "She has to be fun, have respect for herself and be adventurous," he told the magazine at the Teen Choice Awards, adding, "and she has to have a penis!"

...Oh Jerrell, why do I hate you so? Is it your frail bird-like chest you insist on showing whenever possible? Is it your your atrocious personal fashion, or is it your atrocious designs? Get into the frock he thought our female Olympians should wear to the opening cermonies.

This is why we will never rise as a people!

Today on the subway, I saw a woman wearing a rhinestone studded watch with picture of Barack Obama on its face. VERY classy.

They Can't Take Her!!!

Get into this clip of Omarosa letting Wendy Williams have it.

I love it!

R.I.P. Sophia

I could never figure out why I was so in love with a show about 4 old white women living in Miami. All I knew was that they were hilarious and that I hoped to have friends like that in my life.

One of those friends has passed on. Estelle Getty, known to the world as Sophia Petrillo, checked out of Shady Pines for good. I will always remember the episode when she wept over the death of her cross-dressing son, whom she never really knew.

The show was ground-breaking. It showed that one could be over 50, even over 60, and still be funny and vivacious, sexual and even happily slutty. Today, with baby boomers re-defining what it means to be over 60, that notion is not shocking, but in the mid-80s, it was revolutionary.

Thank you for being a friend...