Phonics Lessons, part 1

From Wikipedia...

Phonics is a widely used method of teaching to read and decode words, although it is not without controversy. Children begin learning to read using phonics usually around the age of 5 or 6. Teaching English reading using phonics requires students to learn the connections between letter patterns and the sounds they represent. Phonics instruction requires the teacher to provide students with a core body of information about phonics rules, or patterns.

OK children, get your mothers, your sisters, your cousins, and your nieces in here. We need to go over some quick lessons.

1. You CANNOT make up your own silent letters. We have already agreed as a society what letters can be silent and in what combinations. You do not have the authority to change that agreement.
2. Apostrophes take the place of other letters. Other uses are wrong! De'rek is short for "De(my mother is uneducated)rek".
3. Random capitalizations are unacceptable. DeRek is unacceptable, as is LaNeeTreeya or any other such foolishness. We will address everything ELSE that is wrong with "LaNeeTreeya" in another post!
4. Lakeisha is an variant of Aisha (from the arabic for "alive and well"). Le'Qishya is some BULLSHYT!!! (See LaNeeTreeya)

For now, #THATISALL

Weeeeeeerk!!

This is Miss Carmen Carerra, from her performance this weekend at the hot trade establishment know as Escuelita's in NYC. This is a tuck game for the GAWDS! (picture courtesy of Dlisted)

Let's hope her nuts didn't fall out like that one time when I went to Escuelita's and this drag queen was doing "Umbrella." #Nightmares

I feel sorry for her...

Breaking News:

Lindsay Lohan taken to jail after being sentenced to 120 days for violating probabtion in her arrest in that necklace theft case. (Via CNN)

Poor Lindsay, for a while it appeared that, thanks to the greed of the store owners who sold the tape, we might see her beat this one.  In the tape, we see Lindsay walking out of the store with the necklace on. A store clerk escorts her out and even opens the door for her. That doesn't look like stealing to me

The bitch does take a good mug shot, though!

Lst year, Lindsay Lohan was sent to jail. She went directly to jail, she did not pass go and she did not collect $200. Since she did failed a random drug and alcohol test, the judge told her she had to spend the next 30 days in the clink while awaiting a hearing, when he could have set bail.

If you were on the fence as to whether she had a real problem or was just a fuck up, this was your answer. If someone told me, dont take a drink or a smoke or I am sending your ass back to jail, that would be all I needed to hear. Since she couldn't do that, she is obviously an addict.

I still feel sorry for her though, because I still see the little girl from Freaky Friday...

The real problem keeping Lindsay from making a recovery are her parents, both of whom are completely fucked up.

Please come get your cousin!

No Homo? No, Homo!

I received this picture of the brothers of Sigma. I assume we are referring to Phi Beta Sigma based on the blue boots.

The Brothers of Sigma

Now, I know some Sigmas, and baby, they don't look like this. First of all, they must have told all the fat or out-of-shape brothas to stay home.

Second get into the cakes on the one to the far right. I would bet good money that he has been passed around and gutted by at LEAST half of the other dudes in this picture. Plus he looks pissed off and you know how Mutha LOVES an angry bottom!

Third, get into the cum gutters!

And the peek-a-boo bushes!

I would bet that many of these guys would try to fight you if you suggested they were gay gay and DL unclockably gay anything but rabidly heterosexual men. Maybe they are in bizarro world, but bravo to the obviously gay stylist who convinced them to take this picture.

Dude: You sure this won't make us look gay?

Stylist: Nooooo! Women LOVE seeing a hint of bush and your cum gu... I mean your ab muscles!

Dude: Is this enough?

Stylist: No, lower, please!

Pass around party bottom Dude: But why I gotta show my ass and look mean?

Stylist: Um, that's the new style in sagging jeans, instead of showing boxers, you show skin.

Dude: You sure this ain't gay?

Stylist: Not even a little!