How Does it Feel? A Journey

Before we get started, i just want to recommend that whatever system they use to vote in Washington State, Oregon and California needs to be adopted nationally. The polls closed at 11pm est and they were able to project the results at 11:02pm. Anysnooch...

All around me, I see people who see the election of Barack Obama as a transformative event in their lives and the life of the country. People stood in lines all over the country for newspapers to commemorate the event. Others wept openly at news of his election. As for me, I am very happy to see this day come and I am hopeful for the future because of it, but I just don't share this joy that everyone else seems to have.

Perhaps its because I am somewhat cynical (I know, shocking!). I have always felt like an outsider, observing the world while not necessarily feeling part of it, so events like these don't always have the same effect on me. I tend to reserve a (rather) large piece of myself that observes with an unemotional detachment. Its why I was unmoved initially by the Obama candidacy and supported Hillary Clinton. At that time, it seemed to me that Obama's appeal was based in high-minded rhetoric and emotion. Once I was able to see his policy positions and how his rhetoric infused those positions, I became a supporter.

My cynical nature also comes out when I see people talking about how life changing this event is personally. Really? It is certainly a VERY VERY positive change in American life because it reaffirms the premises of this country. For children and teenagers, they can dream a dream that they may have thought was realistically impossible even the day before. For adults, it may open a world of possibilities as leaders in their local community or nationally. They will be inspired by the story of a man who rose from modest means, without the help of wealth, family name, or even a father, to become President of the United States. Even for me, I used to dream that I could one day be a US Senator, even the Majority Leader, a dream I dismissed as impossible once I accepted my gayness. A BLACK GAY senator? Yeah right! But now, I suddenly find myself dusting off that dream and examining it afresh.

Hmmm... maybe this election was a little more life changing than I thought.

Gotta go. Hopefully they still have the commemorative edition of the Washington Post for sale!

It is done!

This morning, I fulfilled my civic duty and voted. I got to the polling place around 8am, figuring there would be a line, but I still gagged when I saw how far down the block the line was. I put in my earphones and passed the time, mainly so that I would not be forced to make idle chitchat with strangers.

While we are on the subject, thank GAWD for the invention of the IPOD! It has saved me from many unwanted human interactions. So many times I am on the train, or the bus (GASP and SWOON!!) or a plane and someone next to me wants to talk. I guess I have a friendly face.

It never fails, though, that someone will still attempt to talk to me despite my best efforts. Sometimes it's innocent and they just are lost. More often than not, though, they just choose to ignore that I don't want to be bothered and decide to strike up a conversation anyway. That is the surest way to get the Gas Face, but I digress...

As a preamble to the rest of my story, it is important to describe the neighborhood I live in. My neighborhood can be broken down into three pieces. The area where I live, as you might expect, is the nicest. It is a collection of middle middle and lower upper middle income residences. To the south of my area is a narrow band of lower middle to middle income families that surrounds the projects. This part of the neighborhood is frequently the scene of police activity, and as such, makes my part of the nieghborhood fairly safe because the police are always just around the corner. (I'm still moving next year though! Middle upper middle here I come!!!!)

So anyhoo...

I had assumed that the pollilng place wouldn't be that busy because most of the people in the projects and the lower middle/middles wouldn't vote. I was pleasantly surprised to see that this election had brought out EVERYONE, even though it would force me to endure the press of the common folk. After about an hour, I finally get inside the polling place which is a Rec Center in the middle of the projects. Its a beautiful modern building with a lovely basketball court and a job placement center. I hated it immediately, but that is the subject of another rant.

I found my way to the sign-in, which wasn't easy given that the check-in wasn't well marked and the handwriting on the sign was that of a serial killer. I got in the "S threw W" line (SIGH!) which was much shorter than the "N thru R" or the "M" lines (Apparently, a lot of people in my neighborhood have last names beginning with the letter M). This girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder: "I ain't neva done dis before. Do we get in line by first name or last name?" She was young and innocent, if very very ghetto, so instead finding her mother and slappng the shyt out of her, I told her that we were all in line by last name. She smiled up at me and headed off. My heart melted a tiny bit; I had done my good deed for the day.

It dawned on me that despite the fact that my line was much shorter than other, it was not moving nearly as fast. I looked to the front and saw the reason why. Gentle readers, you will no doubt remember Ricky Smiley's character of "Li'l Darryl" from BET's Comic View (oh my God, I just threw up in my mouth a little). Well the sign-in lady was Li'l Darryl slightly less "special" sister. Finally, I got my card and then went to get my actual ballot. I opted for the electronic ballot, figuring it would be easier to complete than the paper ballot which required you to fill in the ovals with a number 2 pencil like it was pop quiz in civics class.

Then I had to wait while people who had never used a computer before and did not understand the concept of the touch screen fumbled their way through the process. One guy was at the screen for like 10 minutes. It happened to so many people that I began to wonder if there was a problem with the machine or if there were more local elections that I wasn't aware of. Ultimately, my cynicism proved spot on and those people were just stupid, because it took me all of 30 seconds to vote.

Yay!!!!

Fuel to the fire

(((((tactful silence)))))

The caption reads...

"Why the hell am I taking a picture with this fag?"

...and John Legend was thinking the same thing!