Oh really, Mr. Perry?

Tyler Perry is auditioning new men, ostensibly for a new TV series..

From the Shadow and Act Blog:

Casting Notice For Tyler Perry’s New TBS Series Looking For “HOTTEST, SEXIEST, African-American men”

We are looking for the HOTTEST, SEXIEST, African-American men in all shades! If you have models, submit them! If you represent professional sports athletes who are in great physical condition, submit them! Do not let their acting ability stop you from submitting them...The actor must be comfortable with their body to do a shirtless scene if required.

Sooooo... you don't have to be able to act, as long as you are in great physical condition, are HOT and/or SEXY, and are comfortable with taking your shirt off.

I see some one-on-one rehearsal sessions in the future.

Weeeeeeerk!!

This is Miss Carmen Carerra, from her performance this weekend at the hot trade establishment know as Escuelita's in NYC. This is a tuck game for the GAWDS! (picture courtesy of Dlisted)

Let's hope her nuts didn't fall out like that one time when I went to Escuelita's and this drag queen was doing "Umbrella." #Nightmares

Please come get your cousin!

No Homo? No, Homo!

I received this picture of the brothers of Sigma. I assume we are referring to Phi Beta Sigma based on the blue boots.

The Brothers of Sigma

Now, I know some Sigmas, and baby, they don't look like this. First of all, they must have told all the fat or out-of-shape brothas to stay home.

Second get into the cakes on the one to the far right. I would bet good money that he has been passed around and gutted by at LEAST half of the other dudes in this picture. Plus he looks pissed off and you know how Mutha LOVES an angry bottom!

Third, get into the cum gutters!

And the peek-a-boo bushes!

I would bet that many of these guys would try to fight you if you suggested they were gay gay and DL unclockably gay anything but rabidly heterosexual men. Maybe they are in bizarro world, but bravo to the obviously gay stylist who convinced them to take this picture.

Dude: You sure this won't make us look gay?

Stylist: Nooooo! Women LOVE seeing a hint of bush and your cum gu... I mean your ab muscles!

Dude: Is this enough?

Stylist: No, lower, please!

Pass around party bottom Dude: But why I gotta show my ass and look mean?

Stylist: Um, that's the new style in sagging jeans, instead of showing boxers, you show skin.

Dude: You sure this ain't gay?

Stylist: Not even a little!

The wise and wonderful Miss Coco Peru once said something to the effect that men who complain the loudest about men who suck dick, suck dick. So it shouldn't really come as a shock that at least 3 men have accused Pastor Eddie Long of sexual abuse. Long, whose history of anti-gay rhetoric is so virulent that some veteran civil rights figures refused to attend Coretta Scott King's funeral when it was held at his mega-church in suburban Atlanta.

In the interest of fairness, let's look at both sides of the case. First off, the plaintiff's all brough civil suits, not criminal suits, which says to me that they don't have that kind of compelling evidence, such as a rape kit, or other physical evidence (think Monica Lewinsky and soiled dresses). So since they brought civil suit, they are seeking financial compensation for the real or imagined wrongs they suffered. Wrongs such as having an old brotha take you on lavish trips around the world, buy you a car and all other maneer of excess, all in exchange for the pleasure of sucking your dick. The horrror!

On the other side, we have Pastor Long (I can't with the "Bishop") who, if the allegations are true, spent the day railing against the sins of homosexuality, but always had at least one kept boy on the side for sexual pleasure. And while we certainly don't have an cum-stained dresses, we have these instead:

These pictures were supposedly emailed or texted to one or more of the plaintiffs. While it's not exactly a dick shot,

at a minimum its inappropriate. Can you imagine your phone buzzing and you open your phone to a picture of your pastor in his tightest, gayest muscle shirt?

I will be interested in seeing how this plays out, because I GUARANTEE YOU that although there are 3 plaintiffs now, there are several others in the wings. If Pastor Long settles out of court, his church and many others, including me, will see it as an admission of guilt. If he goes to trial and declares his innocence under oath, those others will come out of the woodwork, including those tragic queens he almost certainly deluded into thinking they were the only one he had a spiritual relationship with.

More to come...

Blackout 15

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Join us at our home away from home, the Courtyard Fort Lauderdale Beach, located directly on the beach.

Rooms start at $109/night for a single or double with the Blackout group code

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Keep it real, Gurl!

To the surprise of fives of tens of people, Ricky Martin came clean and admitted to Living La Vida Pinga! And with that, Senorita Martin joins a number of famous geighs who have come out of the closet to the surprise of no one.

Finally, someone comes out of the closet that I actually want to fuck motorboat spank meet. Lord knows I wasn't interested in Gayken (Clay Aiken), although I WOULD dip my dick in Lance Bass' honeypot if he hit on me at the bathhouse, and I would tell everyone although I would't tell anyone.

One could argue that he should have come out earlier. He could have helped many young people who were confused in their sexuality. But like Gayken and Bass and many others before him, he says he was afraid it would hurt his career. Alright gurls, let's keep it real.

I think its HILARIOUS that while you were shaking your ass and collecting those checks and all those young (and not so young in Gayken's case) girls were screaming for you, you really wanted to be the one screaming as you lowered your quivering hole onto the waiting dick of your big black bodyguard who looks exactly like Michael Clark Duncan. But let's be real, you only came out when the girls stopped screaming and the checks dried up. Let's not pretend like you had some huge epiphany and wanted to "be honest with yourself". Frankly, you came out when no one really gave a shit anymore.

Sean Hayes, I'm giving you the side eye here, Miss Honey!

Keep it real bitches!

Your Brista Thinkin' 'Bout Marriage

When I came out to myself at 26, I never thought it would happen.


When I came out to my father and sister on my 30th birthday, it still didn't seem like something that would happen in my lifetime.


Today it happened!


As of today, I live in a place (Washington, DC) where I, as a black gay man, can legally marry the partner of my choice.


Even though I don't have someone I am eying for that walk down the aisle just yet, it is still an awesome and wonderful reality and I feel happy and blessed.


Now it's time to find a man!

Happy Valentine's Day

I have had someone living with me, sleeping in my bed since September 1 and I don't think most of my friends know it. In the beginning, I didn't mention it because I didn't want to jinx the relationship, but now, well, not sure why. Maybe I'll figure it out as I am writing.

I met him in August, right before my cruise. We went out and had dinner and fooled around in the backseat of my car. After my cruise, we picked up right where we left off and I was feeling good.

He was going through some roommate drama, and so I told him he could move in for a minute in September. I had the extra room so it wasn't that big a deal to me at the time, as I assumed he would be moving out by the end of October at the latest.

It's funny how much you find out about someone when you live with them. Like how another person's sleep patterns and habits can totally annoy you. Like how someone ability to be comfortable in a filthy bathroom can piss you off (it's not like I am a neat freak, but I'M SAYIN!!!). And it's funny how all the things that annoy you about a person annoy you so much more when you aren't having sex regularly.

And there we have it, I am living with a guy who likes to sleep in my bed, and who says he finds me attractive, but who doesn't like to fuck. I have not really made this a big issue because I don't want to make it seem like he has give up the ass in exchange for a roof over his head, but in a way, he does! I know if someone let me live with them totally for free, the least I could do is have sex with him regularly, with a 3-4 times weekly dick sucking as a minimum.

All kidding aside, when you aren't having regular intimacy, that builds feelings of resentment and being used, so that even on the rare (very rare) occasions when the other person wants to do it, they get pushed away. Its like, oh now that you are in the mood, I am supposed to drop everything and perform.

Anyhoo, I decided that I wasn't going to do anything for him for Valentine's or even make any mention of it to him. So far, neither has he.

Back in January, I told him, as nicely as possible, that he needed to be out by March 1. Stay tuned to this blog to see how that goes.

Happy Valentine's Day, suckas!

Tacky is as Tacky Does

Many of you have probably seen the pictures from the wedding of Michael K. Cole and Jamil Smith Cole. If not, let me refresh your memory:

 

Now that your eyes have stopped burning from the opulence, I only have one thing to say, GUUUUUUURL!!!!

I salute them for their commitment. It is rare to see two black gay men making such a public statement, but this is some hot gay ghetto madness. Get into handmade couture gown with the train arranged elegantly on the step. The beard! The hair! the eyebrows! I love how Shaniqua and Dayquanna are standing there with that "I know I look good" face.

Two of my good bristas got married in Boston this summer. They rented tuxes and had a beautiful simple ceremony under the trees in Boston Commons, followed by a carriage ride. SIMPLE. ELEGANT. CLASSY. Yes I am hating, but not like the woman at Morehouse who made homophobic comments and got fired. My hate comes from a place of "Chile Cheez!"

By contrast, my wedding will be a simple affair, in my signature colors of blush and bashful!

Remembered... Pleasure?, part two

I have started and re-written this second part of the story several times, trying to figure out how to portray the narrative. The emotions involved require more than just a straightforward telling of the facts, and yet, I don't want to gloss over the reality of the situation with beautiful words and imagery, so once again, here goes nothing...

The next day, I picked him up from a pool party the next day, ready to pick up where we left off, and he was drunk and high. He had gotten totally fucked up and was hitting on our mutual friends. He correctly interpreted my stony silence and apologized profusely. I told him in no uncertain terms that while i was totally interested in him, we could just chalk it up to a good weekend and leave it at that. He apologized.

A single, deep, long kiss in front of Eric's apartment building, an exhaled "I'm sorry, Daddy," and all was forgiven.

Another wonderful kiss, more deep sharing of confidences. A perfect cap on the weekend and as he disappeared into the airport that Tuesday, my heart was happy and full.

The following Tuesday was September 11, 2001, my second day on a new job. As I watched the first tower fall, my thoughts were of him, and how he would soon be on his way to work for a bank in a highrise in downtown Los Angeles. I called him and made him promise me that he would not go to work that day.

I guess it was 5 or 6 months later that I got a call late one evening... "Daddy? I just got gay-bashed!" He was calling me, crying, from the hospital. I did my best to console him. i told him I would fly out the next day, but he said that he would be ok. I insisted, saying that he needed someone to protect him, to watch over him. He started to get mad, yelling at me that I couldn't protect him, I was in DC and he was in LA and he was on his own. There wasn't really anything I could say.

I was too young and too infatuated and too in love with the idea of being in love to see that a long distance relationship with an tragically beautiful and emotionally needy man with Daddy issues who was living his life at a much lower price point than I was would never work. I found out that he pretty much exclusively dated thuggish, gangster-looking types, which in LA meant real gang-bangers. Although I looked mean, i am certainly not a gangster or a thug and he was used to the phsysical and emotional drama that such relationships bring. He often manufactured things to be pissed off with me about. He once called me and got mad at me because he had to masturbate because I wasn't there to fuck him when he wanted to get fucked. It was draining, but still, I hung in there.

Two straws broke the camel's back.

He called me once, his voice pregnant with guilt. "I went to a party last a couple of weeks ago. This dude was there, he kind of reminded me of you and he said I was cute. He had a limo, Daddy, and we drove around all night. I'm sorry Daddy, but now he's all up in my video!" My VERY first thought was what the fuck does all up in my video mean, but my heart knew what it meant and it was breaking. Although he didn't say it, he had almost certainly had sex with this guy, which wasn't the worst part. By mutual agreement, we had agreed not to discuss any "activities" we had been involved in to scratch that itch. What hurt was that he felt that he had to tell me about this particular one, which meant, that more than just a momentary itch was scratched.

I asked him what he meant by all up in his video and what he intended to do about it. He said he didn't know, but that he was sorry. Sorry for what, he wouldn't say. It was a couple of weeks before Valentine's day. I had already bought a ticket to visit him in LA and made all these arrangements. Two weeks later, he hit me up online and casually mentioned that he was going to Palm Springs for Valentine's Day weekend. I was FLOORED. I asked him about our plans and he said he thought I was only talking hypothetically. I reminded him that I had emailed him the confirmation. He totally blew me off. At that point I was pretty much done, even though I hung in there until that Labor Day

So much more happened than that in the two years that we were "together." What hurt the most was the realization that I was obviously more in love with him that he was with me. What did that say about me that I allowed myself to be blinded to a fact that was obvious to everyone else?

*dead*

Remembered... Pleasure?, part one

I have never written of this before because frankly it was too painful, but here goes nothing...

I met him Memorial Day Weekend 2001. I was still fresh off a weekend of whoring around and getting my life at Parliament House in Augusta, GA the previous month. He was with my friend Eric. He was wearing jeans and a sky blue jersey. He was short, brown-skinned and very very cute and he had an intensity about him that drew me in. We shook hands, the touch lingering a few seconds more than necessary for strangers meeting in a crowded room. We spoke of simple things and common interests, always managing to be near one another throughout the rest of the day.

An exhange of numbers, the promise of a date before he returned to Los Angeles...

He never called

I chalked it up to the normal flakiness of black gay men and didn't really give it any thought. Two weeks later, on a Friday, I get an IM at work: "I kicked myself every minute of the trip home for not calling you." It was him. He said he felt foolish, because he was into me from the moment I said hello. He thought it was crazy to be so into someone he had just met.

That night we talked until the battery on my cellphone died and then we talked some more until the battery on his cordless died and then, we talked some more until my cordless phone died. Somewhere during that conversation, he called me Daddy for the first time. I had always hated that word, because I felt it meant I was getting old, but falling from his lips, it was the sweetest melody I had ever heard.

For the next three weeks, we were as inseparable as two people could be (who lived on opposite coasts). We revealed everything about ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly and still wanted to know more. Plans were made. I had to reveal to him that I planned to take a trip for the 4th of July to Tennessee to meet someone I had begun chatting with before I met him. He said that was fine, after all, we were just getting to know each other.

Well it wasn't fine.

When I got back, his attitude changed. He became defensive and argumentative. He accused my of cheating on him. In short, he became a crazy bitch. Hmmm... maybe there was a reason we lived on opposite coasts. He was dismissed.

Labor Day Weekend, 2001

The mutual friend, Eric, had a little soiree at his house and had invited both of us, unbeknownst to the other. When he saw me, I saw the shock register on his face. I had almost forgotten how beautiful he was. He came up and invited me into the hallway. The door closed behind us and there we were. I reached out to touch his face, stroking the contours of his eyebrows, his cheeks, his lips. He whispered to me, please Daddy don't, even as he moved closer to me. I could feel his heart beating. We stood in silence for what must have been seconds and felt like glorious hours. And then he crossed the final barrier. He leaned up and kissed me. I kissed him back and we kissed each other. I had to have him.

On the ride back to my hotel room, we spoke again of inconsequential things, trying to fill in the 2-month gap that we didn't speak to each other. He asked me if I had heard Erykah Badu's second CD, "Mama's Gun." I said no, and he replied that there was a track on it that reminded him of me...

Many nights he was alone
Many, many many nights
His light was too bright
So they turned away
And he stood alone
Every night and every day
Then he turned to me
He saw his reflection in me
Then he smiled at me
When he turned to me
And he said to me
How Good It Is!

I'm an Orange Moon
I'm brighter than before
Brighter than ever before
I'm an Orange Moon
And I shine so bright
'Cuz I reflect the light
Of my Sun
Ohhhhhhhh
I praise the day
He turned my way
And smiled at me
He gets to smile and I
I get to be Orange
Like I like to be
How Good It Is!

You're the bright light Daddy and most people don't get you, but I'm your Orange Moon and I get you.

I literally had to pull the car over for a second to catch my breath. Was I dreaming? Did I finally meet someone who actually GOT me? I looked at him and he looked at me and there was no one else in the world. He interlocked him hand with mine and kissed it. He held it tight all the way back to the hotel.

Eddie Murphy makes a joke about fucking versus making love. Now, I had fucked many men, but that night was the first night I had ever made love to someone. It was beautiful and highly erotic, intimate, passionate, wild and freaky.

The next day, on the way back into the city, he said I turned him on because I knew all the words to Jay-Z's Hey Papi. He said he liked that thuggishness. Then the DJ switched it up a little bit...

And I can't believe it's real

Can't believe it's you

Can't believe it's happening

Can't believe it's you

And I can't believe that you are here with me

And I am here with you

Kissing you

He kissed me again right before getting out of the car and heading back to Eric's apartment. I went right out and bought Mama's Gun.

(to be continued)

Hercules! Hercules!

Regular sex with trannies and Johnny Gill is working for Miss Murphy!

I Don't Give a Shyt!!!

Is Dorion Standberry from College Hill gay? I DON'T GIVE A SHYT!!! Until yesterday, I didn't even know who the hell he was. Now that I am aware of him, still don't care. Even if there were pics of him getting his back dug out (evil wistful grin), I would be only mildly interested. As for whether he is gay or not, as Lisa Stansfield would say, "You can't deny it baby." This gurl has an AKA tattoo above his pubics. Is he about to SKEE-WEE up in here?

Are Jon and Kate and her awful, awful haircut getting a divorce? I DON'T GIVE A SHYT!!! It is fucked up though. How the hell are you gonna bring 8 children into the world AND THEN decide you don't want to be together. They should have their children taken away.

Is Ricky Martin gay? Although I don't really give a shyt, but CHILE CHEEZE.

JHud is dick-motized!

Le sigh...

Punk is a wrestler now. Yes, he went from Harvard Law, to I Love New York to professional restler. I can only assume that he must have the dick of life and JHud is so blinded by it that she can't see the train wreck coming down the road.

PS, total shocker that he chose a career that required him to be practically naked, oiled up and rolling around with other mostly naked men.

Gym Chronicles 061609

Over the past 15 months, without any effort other than dietary changes, I have lost 40 pounds. In fact, I am only 9 pounds away from my Adam4Adam weight!

Last week, I joined a gym, hoping to see accelerated results. There is a Ballys about 5 minutes from my house. The staff and clientele are almost exclusively black, which is good and bad.

I have some observations...

Ballys has a reputation in the DC metro area for being EXTREMELY cruisy. I used to belong to the location on L Street NW and it was madness. Open masturbation in the shower, dick sucking in the sauna. I saw two dudes fuck right out in the open in the shower area one Saturday morning. I have not seen any of that at Ballys at Hampton Mall (my gym, hereafter referred to as BHM). However there are signs that the atmosphere used to be MUCH more festive. There are a plethora of signs indicating proper dress, including swimwear, is required in the wet and dry sauna. I have noted that this is not the case in other gyms I have belonged to. The comments of the older members also indicate a more storied past, with one guy admonishing his friend to be careful in the steam room because "you know how they do."

As a man, I am an observer by nature. As a black gay man, I am an observer of dicks and asses and a gym is always a great place for such observation. I never forget, however, that I am there to WORKOUT, otherwise I am paying 40 bucks a month to look at dicks and asses and I can do that for free on the internet. As an observer, I notice the people and activities going on around me as I arrive at BHM, get changed and workout. I have noticed that some people come to the gym and never workout. I was at the gym today, getting dressed, when this guy I had conversed with a couple days before arrived. (Why was I talking with him, read on below.) He changed into workout clothes and immediately headed into the steam room. I thought nothing of it and proceeded with my workout. About 30 minutes into it, I noticed this dude dressed and leaving the gym. Did he just spend 45 minutes lurking in the locker room and bounce? Hmmm...

While I was working out, my eye fell upon a tall dark-skinned creature with a look and manner that screamed LADY!!! He was one of those kids who already had a big booty, but walks around with it pushed out even further, giving the effect of a two-legged horse. Miss Horse Booty flitted from the cross-trainer machines to the treadmill, but never actually doing anything. I finished my workout and went to the locker room. I decided to try out the dry sauna.

I typically avoid dry saunas, but this one was perfect. It was hot enough that I was sweating profusely, but not so hot that I felt like I was suffocating. As I entered the sauna there were 4 older black men in there having a conversation on some inane subject. Their facts were totally wrong, but the conversation was fun, so i just dashed right over it, chuckling and co-signing where appropriate. When Miss Horse Booty sauntered in, one of the men said, "There he goes, or she, or whatever. She done toned her ass down recently." It's interesting to me that many of the older men keep making homoobservantphobic comments. The frequency of them and tone indicate to me that if others were not around to see or hear about it, they would not be above letting Miss Horse Booty suck their dick or fucking her in that phat ass. It makes you say, HMMMMMM...

When I joined facebook, a young guy that I was peripherally aware of hit me up and started chatting me up. He is shorter and much thinner than me, which I totally liked, but I didn't really know much else about him. Eventually the conversation got personal, with him asking for various dimensions and capacities. When I told him how much I weighed he said he liked that, because he wanted some weight behind it when he was getting his back banged out. (OH MY!) I never followed up because I didn't really know him and frankly, I was already banging some other guy's back out. The second day at BHM, I saw him come into the gym. I had noticed a week or so earlier that his facebook profile indicated that he was in a relationship.

After my workout, I headed to the locker room and as luck would have it, his locker was in the same area as mine. He had a friend with him (the locker room lurker). Although I hadn't seen him workout at all, he was in the process of drying off. His towel dropped to reveal the most perfect round tite little ass in all of creation. I shuddered a little to myself, thinking how much fun I could have had pounding him into submission (did I just share too much?). I immediately hit him up on faceboook to explore how serious that relationship was, but he seemed non-committal at best. Perhaps he saw through my transparent attempt to get some of that ass now that I seen it in all its glory. What did I care? I had nothing to lose, which brings me to my final observation...

Going to the gym regularly is making me horny as hell.

More to come!

Speaking of Bukkake

Zachary Quinto loves it all over his face!

Does anyone else find this hot?

Spectacular - ly Gay

Whateva gur! Why are you abusing that chair?

Nice cakes

Lenny Kravitz and his amazing boogina!

My tongue is hard...