Allen Iverson is a BAMA!

There is a scene in the movie Soapdish where Sally Field's character Celeste, desparate for the love and affection of her fans, goes to the mall in a disguise. She brings along her confidante Rose (Whoopi Goldberg), who pretends to be a fan and "exposes" Celeste. A scene ensues and Celeste spends the next two hours basking in the love of her fans

A similar and equally ridiculous scene unfolded yesterday on U Street in front of Ben's Chili Bowl yesterday. More after the pics.

Yes, that is NBA superstar Allen Iverson standing outside of the restaurant waiting for his food. Now he could have waited inside the restaurant for his food, but he chose to post up in front of the spot and bask in the love of his fans. Based on this scene, I have deduced the following:

First, I will never eat at Allen Iverson's house. If he thinks the food at Ben's Chili Bowl is good, then obviously the food at his house must taste like crap. For a place with Chili in the name, the chili at Ben's taste like ass (and not in a good way). I defy you to eat there and not feel your arteries hardening with each bite.

Second, he could be Trade. His group of hangers-on all looked vaguely gayish, plus one of them was walking around with his ass literally hanging out. The buttcheeks were fully exposed and when he turned around you could see bush. (Baby, I tried to get pics, but Mother was so flustered by the sudden and unexpected display of male pulchritude!) Now I ask you, gentle reader, why would a "totally straight" man be showing his ass and dick on a public street to another "totally straight" man on a public street? The mind wobbles!

Third, and this is most important, he was having his Bentley detailed on a public street. This is, by definition, an act of BAMA-ry in the first degree. Being a BAMA always involves some stupidity and this scene is a textbook example. Why would one spend $100,000 (plus I'm guessing another $100,000 on a stereo system) on a luxury automobile and then allow a homeless person on the corner to wash your car with leftover pages from the Washington Post?

This is why we can't rise as a people!