On Vacation

Off to Turks and Caicos and the Bahamas.

Back in a week.

Does the G stand for Gay?

One of my good Bristas, Derrick (check out his blog), was telling me about this show on MTV called "Gs to Gents." He thinks its the gayest show on TV. Of course that piqued my interest so I decided to check it out.

I did keekee a little when one of the guys was getting his wig split getting his hair braided and he raised his arm and the pits were shaved. I don't mean the hair was short. No, Miss Thing's pits were perfectly smooth. Not only that, but Shotta's (yes, that's what they call her. Real name: Durrell) eyebrows were snatched FA LYFE!

It may or may not be the gayest show, I'll let Derrick plead that case. Overall, this show made my brain hurt, so unless they start getting naked, I plan to tune out.

What's done in the dark...

always, ALWAYS comes to light!!! Didn't your mother always tell you that, and wasn't she always right?

Why can't these politicians get this through their thick skulls? Did John Edwards really think that no one would ever find out about his affair? Just imagine where we would be if history had unfolded differently and he were the presumptive nominee on Friday when he made his announcement? We would be up shit's creek that's where, with a nominee who's moral credibility is shattered and whose wife is dying of terminal cancer.

John McCain would have been able to spend the next several months painting himself as the candidate of family values, trotting out his evil undead wife to smile and wave condescendingly to adoring throngs of self-riteous "values" voters who are just glad that they dont have to make excuses for why they aren't voting for the half-nigger, the woman or the adulterer.

To think I almost voted for this asshole. Yes, I say asshole because he potentially put my (and your) future in jeopardy because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and then didn't have the balls to own up to it until it was too late. The stakes are very high here and we can't afford shit like this.

Mr. Edwards, I am very disappointed in you and I will never believe another word that comes out of your mouth. Now go somewhere and sit down, you stupid son of a bitch!

Hate the games, not the players

As you know, mother is not easily moved by shiny lights and spectacle, but I got a good nerd boner watching the Olympics opening ceremony. Those Chinese sure know how to put on a show. I like to think I am fairly hip to most modern technology but there were a couple of times where I was like, "How the hell are they doing that?"

Predictably, some are hating:

Robert Bianco (USA Today): "... astounding mix of cutting-edge technology and ancient traditions ... [but] a bit grandiose at times, particularly in those moments when the attempts to stoke national pride became stifling."

The Live Feed: "Those oversized cut-out photos of kids were a wee bit creepy. Like a sea of milk carton runways."

The Telegraph (UK newspaper): "Now we are in the midst of a celebration of moveable type printing. Try to stay awake at the back there."

If this were being held in the United States or Great Britain, who doesn't think it would be filled with great soaring moments of national pride? And given the history of the US and Britain in world politics, you just know there would be those paternalistic attempts to be all inclusive and what not.

The Chinese have every right to take this moment on the world stage and shine. They can be forgiven some moments of nationalistic pride, considering that they are the host and that their country contains a sixth of the planet's population. The fact that the commentators had to keep explaining the symbolism underscored the fact that people know very little about China.

Ten years from now, we will all look back on this moment as China's coming out party. I say, welcome to the dance. Tens across the board!

Mother of the year

Our next contestant is...

This is what you call balls. Your oldest child is crazy as cat shit, been hospitalized with mental issues and voluntarily gave up custody of her young sons. Your other daughter is an unwed teenage mother. Yes, Lynn, you are fully qualified to write a book on parenting. And who the hell is Bryan Spears?

Random Musings...

...If I am really keeping it real, the only interest I have in the summer Olympics is Track and Field, and its not to see who has the fastest times around the track.

...David Archuleta, American Idol runner-up and the stuff molester-y dreams are made of, told OK Magazine that he is looking for his someone special. "She has to be fun, have respect for herself and be adventurous," he told the magazine at the Teen Choice Awards, adding, "and she has to have a penis!"

...Oh Jerrell, why do I hate you so? Is it your frail bird-like chest you insist on showing whenever possible? Is it your your atrocious personal fashion, or is it your atrocious designs? Get into the frock he thought our female Olympians should wear to the opening cermonies.

This is why we will never rise as a people!

Today on the subway, I saw a woman wearing a rhinestone studded watch with picture of Barack Obama on its face. VERY classy.